Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Let's Speculate // Or, On Getting Better + the Foolishness of Hope Alone

This morning I was thinking about a random assortment of things I am excited about. In all honesty, my current existence feels a bit like when Santa Claus shows up at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Pure excitement mixed with joy. A wholesome joy.

Yeah, I Instagram the TV...often, too. But...Look! It's SANTA!!!


 I thought to myself, "dang, it's amazing how life just seems to get better and better as time moves along!"

See that happy face?! That's my BEEEEE! face.

But then I thought: Wait a minute, there! "Just gets better" kinda sounds like all this just happened from nowhere and nothing. Like the Happiness Fairy swooped in and presented me with everything I ever wanted.

The Happiness Fairy comes with angelic light 
and looks a lot like a fat striped kitty.

How misleading! I can assure you, it wasn't without tears and decisions that outwardly seemed drastic (!) and to some, maybe even insane! Happiness really does take a huge amount of...courage! You know what I mean. 

Have a Dr. Pepper and listen to my rad, experience-based 
(meaning I messed up but learned from it & then made better choices) 
opinions/advice!
Then my mind said to me: Hey, sister (because my mind talks to me fresh like that)--What if nothing in your life--as it is at this very moment--"got better"?
What if everything stayed exactly the same as it is right now...forever? 
Would you be satisfied?
Interesting question, mind! That's what I told her.

So, I'm asking you, dear readers. Would you?

Life! You delicious, yet precarious thing, you!

Would you want more than what you have? Better relationships with the people you know?

You know these nice people, dontcha?


More money maybe?

More money for more In-N-Out, right...er...maybe that's me.

A better job? Any job?

A job is a precious thing and so is that adorable hat!


Would you want a room with a view? A cure for sickness? The admiration of millions? 

Everyone admires a girl with a...smile! 
Maybe you'd prefer solitude?

"Quit lookin'"


Or a pineapple Popsicle?
Delicious.


If you want anything--even one teensy little thing--more than what you have at this exact moment, then you must hear the moral of this raving silliness (or good sense). 

Which is this: Things don't "get better." 

They don't. No. And here are my thoughts on that, for whatever they're worth:

There are basically 3 courses of action.
You make things better, you make things worse, or they stay the same. In any case, it requires action. Even the "stay the same" option requires action, which is the action of choosing complacency. 

Ahhhh, complacency!
Everyone loves a plan...Stan (sorry, couldn't resist). Let's make one! If you're serious about changing your life, about finding achieving (!!!) happiness in this world, and about putting hope into action, then I suggest you start at the top. I have decided that the top consists of the most rewarding thing in life: Helping others.
(And if not helping others, then gardening).

There's that Happiness Fairy again.

I bet you thought I was going to suggest you start by working on yourself? Get a new hat, cover yourself in crystals, find an acupuncturist or a tattoo artist to stick needles in you, something like that? No way, man! 

I can still have that new hat, though...right?

I have learned the hard way that if we (we're in this together, you know) want to be truly happy, we need to get out of our own...uh...minds. Start thinking about others for a change! Stop obsessing over the things we think we should be doing (that don't really matter) and find out what we can do to make someone else's day...or year...or life a bit better.

And if you're doing that already, then try gardening.



He looks happy, doesn't he?!



Hope is grand, but it won't change the world alone. Hope is an atom, a building block, sometimes a catalyst. But without the extra effort of putting your hopes into action, the beauty of hope fades into foolish desire.

You think you're special? Talented? Sure, you do. And so do I! And so do a million other jokers just like you and me. What sets the successful and talented jokers apart from the talented, yet unsuccessful jokers is essentially one thing: work.



You think this joker--I mean, uh, former 
President Kennedy, sir--got on this fine coffee mug by 
dreamin' and not doin'? No, sir!


We can believe we are special and amazing all day long, as the 1980s taught many of us. But the piece that never gets enough press somehow is hard work. 



This is my Papa Dean. He has worked hard his whole life. 
He is my greatest inspiration in life and a hilarious and good person.


Most of us, depending on where we live and what obstacles we face, can be anything we want to be, sure! So long as we're willing to work for it. And working for it will mean failing and 2,000 hour weeks (wait, is that even possible?), getting your hands dirty and picking up and starting again at times...maybe even dozens of times! It will not be easy.



Two of the hardest working people I know, both successful. 
The left is my fiancee, Thom. He went to medical school in his 40s and
is now living one of his dreams (he's living many others, as well), which
was to help people by becoming a doctor. He's a good one, too. The best.
On the right is my aforementioned Papa Dean. 
He started working at the Pipeline after he got out of the Air Force
and then built his own cable TV business that was successful for many years.

I haven't always been so sensible when it comes to work and knowing what to do to be successful (yes, I do consider myself to be successful as a wife, homemaker, jewelry designer, photographer, and more). Here's the most entertaining reason for my prior lack of sense: I grew up playing with The Barbie Doll.



Don't roll your eyes! Don't say, oh blah blah, feminist rhetoric, blame the Barbie! That ain't my racket at all, reader dear. Not hardly.


Barbie was something, though wasn't she? Still is, maybe...it's been a while since I've been down that aisle. When I was a kid, Barbie was the coolest (and if you want to know the extent of my Barbie-obsession, take a look at my Pinterest board Barbies I Had). She could be an astronaut, a teacher, a neato teenager in neon clothes with her own hamburger stand and pet koala!


"A pet koala?! How fabulous!"


Unfortunately, life isn't the way it was for my Barbie. Shocking, I know. But we don't just change our outfits and accessories and suddenly have a new career. Nobody comes along and brushes my hair into perfect waves and drops me into a pink convertible next to a super hot Ken whose only goal in life is to take me on dates and then put on a tuxedo and marry me...all with that suspiciously plastic and yet good-looking hairdo. Hmmmm...!

Anyway. My conclusion this morning is this:

Your happiness is your business and your responsibility.

And yes, you may get that stitched on a pillow.

We all have to work for what we want in life. It will be difficult. It will be hard. Don't be lazy. Don't blame others for your own mistakes. But most importantly, don't be lazy. It's not as though we have all the time in the world.
Copyright for this goes to the awesome and 
inspired littlethingsstudio on Etsy. Own this print! Go here


When all else fails, even gardening, then read (or watch) "Anne of Green Gables."  Tried and true, my friends. Tried and true.

xoxo,
Ashley


P.S. This is a blog. It ought to be humorous. None of my advice is meant to replace that of your doctor, therapist, or other professional. I am just a happy girl who loves to share her secrets...which aren't really secrets, just obvious stuff most people apparently don't notice. Score! And as I put it earlier today, adolescence ends when we realize that by and large, no one cares about our many opinions. That's why I still look so young. :D
There, you feel good now, dontcha?

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